Tuesday, December 15, 2009

8 little known facts about death..

Little known Fact About Death #1
No American has officially died of 'old age' since 1951, when the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

Little Known Fact About Death #2 ~
At least one place (in India) doesn't bury their dead. They leave the dead bodies sitting out to be consumed by vultures.

Little Known Fact About Death #3 ~
In the 19th century, Egypt had such an excess of mummies that they started using them as fuel for trains engines.

Little Known Fact About Death #4 ~
Approximately 100,000,000,000 people (that's 100 billion!) have died since humans began.

Little Known Fact About Death #5 ~
Eighty percent of people who die in the United States die inside of a hospital.

Little Known Fact About Death #6 ~
Queen Victoria insisted that she get buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert. She also took a plaster cast of Albert's hand with her to the grave.

Little Known Fact About Death #7 ~
A Swedish company called 'Promessa' now offers an ecological burial. They freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, then pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations, and then put your powdered remains into a cornstarch coffin. It all decomposes within six to twelve months.

Little Known Fact About Death #8 ~
American dead people are not very environmentally friendly. Burials in the USA put 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid (formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol), into our soil each year. Meanwhile, cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide, and carbon dioxide into the air.



http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/290323/16_little_known_facts_about_death.html?cat=49

When are you most likely to attend a funeral?

Have you ever heard of the phrase death comes in three? Well I was doing research and found when death is most likely.

Winter is deaths favorite season. January had many more deaths than any other month (220,000). It was followed by March, April, and December. (February would have been second if it had had 31 days instead of 28). The month with the least deaths was September (178,000), followed by June, August, and May.

Also most people die on a Monday and most people are killed when it is a full moon.

Also I found out where most people die, which is a little more ovious than time..

Seventy-seven percent of U.S. deaths took place in some kind of health-care facility. These include the 48 percent of U.S. residents who died as hospital inpatients, 9 percent who died in emergency rooms, 3 percent who were pronounced dead on arrival at a hospital, and 17 percent who expired in a nursing home. Just 20 percent of U.S. residents died in a private home, and percent died in other places.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Heres the link



here is the link to the customized websites..

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/372386/

What more can you pimp out

Ive been searching the internet for all things quirky about funerals, deaths and everything in between. I did see that people have pimped out hearses but I have recently found that people are making casket fashionable, with the tag line, "you'll die to get in one." I saw a Tommy Hillfiger casket, steel engine casket, American war veteran casket and a casket that even looks like a cell phone. Before it was between steel and copper. Now a person can choose any shape or design?

I feel this could be another way society is trying to make fun of death. Would you crack a smile if if someone you were burying had a customized racecar casket? People live everday expressing themselves, why stop when your dead?

Funeral joke of the day

I found this joke on jokesaboutfunerals.com

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new
business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location.'"

Night Watcher

As I said before my dad has finally let me work at the funeral home. As he gave me choices to what I could exactly do, one of them stuck out in a bad way. It goes back to a time when there was no cell phones and someone had to stay over night to answer the phone if it were to ring. He asked me if I would ever think about being that person. I responded absolutely not!

When I was younger I heard my aunts and uncles telling their experiences of working the night shift and it did not sound fun. They reported random noises coming from the back hallway or things being misplaced with in a minute of it being there. One of them even had to call the police because of the noises they were hearing. And that is why I just asked to make coffee!

12 easy steps...

If you are looking to do something but not sure how to do it, eHow is your website. for fun I thought I could find instructions on how to plan a funeral and I did. Check it out!

Step 1) Meet with the other principal mourners to discuss their wishes and preferences. Find out if the deceased left any instructions regarding the funeral. Discuss religious preferences and how much money the family is willing to spend.

Step 2)with a religious leader or a funeral home if you would like help with any of the details, including location of a burial site or disposition of ashes, casket or cremation container selection, transportation, legal issues, flowers and music.

Step3 Choose the site where the funeral will take place. This is most often a church or temple, but it could also be a funeral home or at the graveside. (You may also decide on a more informal memorial service.)

Step 4) Select someone to conduct the service. This could be a religious leader, funeral home personnel or a friend of the family.

Step 5) Appoint pallbearers if you are having a formal funeral. Pallbearers can include special friends or business associates of the deceased, though the funeral home can usually provide them if there are no preferences.

Step 6) Assign someone to give the eulogy. Typically, the family will choose a family member, religious leader or close friend. Contact the person who will give the eulogy as soon as possible to give him or her time to talk with the family and organize notes for the service.

Step 7) Consider including music in the service. Choose a piece with special meaning for the family, perhaps having a family friend be a vocalist or instrumentalist.

Step 8) Choose flowers for the service. What is appropriate depends on the family's wishes and the amount of money it wishes to spend.

Step 9) Place an obituary in the local newspaper announcing the date, time and place of the funeral.

Step 10) Consult the funeral home about having printed programs for the funeral service. Get input from the family regarding their design.

Step 11) Buy a guest book for guests to sign as they arrive, if one is not provided.

Step 12) Coordinate all of the above with the funeral home, which will arrange to transport the coffin to the funeral, remove the coffin to the burial site, or take care of other details as requested.

new career?

Everyone at one time in their life contemplated doing what their mother or father does for a living or taking over the family business. I have had those thoughts when I was way younger, but never took it too seriously. I am always allowed to visit, but never allowed to work there, until now! Over Thanksgiving break my dad asked if I would want to work at the Funeral Home, doing random things during the wakes. I understand not alot of people my age would find this at all amusing, but I do. It is like the forbidden fruit. My dad would never in a million years let me in on his business, but for some reason he is now. I hope to have some interesting story from working their first hand.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Funeral humor for the day

I strongly feel it is healthy to laugh at death and live your life without this fear of Mr. Death..so here is a joke I found. Enjoy!

Funeral Humor

Mule for Sale?
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag; - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head.

Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

(http://www.thejokester.net/Joke%20Archive/archive/090602.htm)

Practices with Hearses

So I used to love playing volleyball, but never could get my serve down. I think most people would agree that you would go to the gym and practice your serves. However, I just went to my dads garage and played volleyball among the empty casket. The garage was huge and it was surrounded by steel things, so it did not matter if the ball went flying somewhere random. I do have to say that if the ball got lost in the garage I was not super excited to go looking for that ball. Who knew what was lurking in that garage? And I was not eager to find out

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Funeral Fanatics

So I was researching people who are obsessed with funerals such as caskets, hearses and tombs and I found this website called undergroundhumor.com. They have t-shirts that say, “Have you hugged your funeral director lately?” and a “2010 sexy coffin calendar” and they even sell hearses. This website has the weirdest things ever! Don’t get me wrong I am all for funeral love, but I would never think of anything like this if I did not grow up in this business. How would you feel if one of your teachers had a sexy coffin calendar? I would geek out! Or if one of your dates picked you up in a Cadillac hearse, I would probably run away.
But I have come to find out that laughing at death can be helpful. If everyday you fear death then how are you supposed to fully live your life? So I say if you feel like having a small wooden casket as storage than have at it! Or if having a shirt that says, “All men are cremated equal,” for a price of 17.95 and you think it will make you feel better then go for it.
All you have to do now is check out the website: http://www.undergroundhumor.com/

Monday, November 23, 2009

From limos to hearses

How many of you out there can say you have been rode around in a horse drown hearse? Another perk I have of being a Funeral Director’s daughter. It’s like a glass casket on wheels driven by a horse and of course we have to own one? What happened to the simple station wagon? I guess there is nothing simple about the dead. All I know is I am happy I was riding in the front and not near that glass casket area.
We also owned a black limo and I loved to think that for some reason when I was 16 it would be all mine, sadly we sold it when I was 14, but hey! A girl can dream. The only downside about having these cars is that it takes a long time to clean them. Once when I was younger as a punishment I had to wash these cars in the big scary garage all by myself! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The beginning

So I thought I would start from the beginning and work my way to now. My first realization that my dad had a more unique career than others was in kindergarten where we had to bring your parents to school. I understood my classmates fathers who talked about being a police officer and how he helped people, the father who was constructing buildings and even the fathers who worked at the offices downtown. But then my dad began talking and I was somewhat confused. All the other fathers handed out 911 magnets or fun stickers, but all my dad had to offer was some brochure that I could not even read, how boring! It was true my dad did have an office and he did help people, but he was not the run of the mill father and then I soon learned that my father was anything but boring.
When I started going to his work place I saw things that did not seem right to me. Why did he have these weird colored looking beds that random people were sleeping in? I did not understand why someone would pay my father to sleep in these seemingly uncomfortable concoctions. He tried to explain that there people were not just taking a relaxing nap but they were actually sleeping forever. At this age I was still confused so I just nodded my head naively. The only thing that I knew was every time I went to this weird place I was allowed free pop from the vendor in the center lounge.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009




Look whose selling caskets now

Normal?

Everyone has been asked that question, "what is a random fact about yourself?" You know the one that teachers or bosses ask to get to know more about you? And for some reason I have always answered, "well I am the daughter of a Funeral Director." And it is pretty funny to see the look on people's faces, like they have seen a ghost or something. But it's not just the title that is random, but the random things I have done because of that title.
For example, there is a big garage with caskets along side the walls and hearses galore where I used to practice my spike. Extra points if you hit the gold casket! Many people would think that is creepy and bizarre but I just looked at it as a huge place to practice my serve. Or would one ever think to bring a pimped out hearse to prom? Because I definitely did. Many normal teens would want to get a stretch limo, but not me. Why not use the resources you have? And after my prom dream I had to start concentrating about college and applications. So where would be the perfect spot? Hmm...the back lounge in the funeral home because let's face it, whose quieter than the dead?